Choices
by Relena Mishima
Summary: AU. Building a new personality to replace an existing one is difficult, even for Jedi. What if Revan's mind was intact when he was captured? When he remembers who he is, will he rise anew as the Dark Lord, or will he make different choices this time?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Star Wars and associated characters aren't mine. As if you didn't already know that.

In case it's not clear: "whatever" is talking, 'whatever' is thinking.

When five year old Bastila Shan was told she would have to leave her parents to be with the Jedi she cried nonstop seemingly for days. Her father tried to be reassuring, telling her how she was special and she had a gift, that no matter how much he loved her, he just did not know how to develop it. He told her that it was best that she go and learn how to reach her potential. That comforted Bastila some, reducing her crying to a mere sad sniffle muffled by her father's clothes as she held onto him for dear life. Soon enough, however, she would see her mother, looking at Bastila like she was counting the days until this whimpering brat was gone and all the good Bastila's father had done vanished.

When it finally came time to leave, Bastila's goodbye to her father was long and tearful. Her father told her to be brave, to study hard and to always remember she had people who loved her. After holding on to him almost interminably Bastila dried her tears with her sleeve and told her father she loved him for the very last time and left, boarding the shuttle that would take her to Dantooine. She didn't spare her mother a single glance.

The Enclave on Dantooine was most certainly for Jedi, not children. There was no playground; no happy wallpaper like most any child's room would have; only cold duracrete and sterile metal greeted the younglings in their rooms. On her first night Bastila cried herself to sleep, hugging a stuffed bantha she had unexpectedly found in her luggage. It was the only childhood toy she still had; her mother had said Jedi did not need such things. Fortunately her father had snuck the toy into Bastila's luggage when no one was looking.

The next morning was no better for Bastila. None of the other children seemed to want to talk to her, and while the Jedi tried their best, all their wisdom didn't amount to much to Bastila. She looked everywhere for someone to be nice to her or even just to talk to her and instead she only seemed to find cold duracrete and colder people. The other children never seemed to want to talk to Bastila, and the few that did would only do so for the opportunity to make fun of her accent. Even the tree at the center of the Enclave reminded Bastila of loneliness. Why was there only one tree anyway?

Bastila had promised herself she wouldn't cry, not where anyone could see her at least. She sniffled and would dry her eyes on the sleeve of her robe and try to think about something else. Fortunately Jedi robes were remarkably absorbent and two sleeves went an amazingly long way. She tried hard to focus on what the teachers were saying and to do well in her lessons as she had promised her father she would. The memory of that promise only made it worse, however, threatening to bring more tears to Bastila's already bloodshot eyes. Anything involving her father or home had that effect.

The first class ended and Bastila walked to her next, looking around. Last summer her father had taken her to ruins of a prison on some world she couldn't remember, and the more she looked, the more the Enclave looked like it. The center courtyard was not a meeting place filled with light, it was a lonely prison yard. Only a single tree grew there, and it was twisted and claw-like, reaching to the sky for an escape it could never have.

The tree might not be able to escape, but Bastila would. She ran for the gate, escaping out into the Dantooine grasslands. She had no idea where she was going, but right now it didn't matter. She was finally free; she could feel the grass under her feet, such a change from the hard stone and steel floors of the Enclave. The plains of Dantooine were open, no hallways to force her down some predetermined path, no doors to stop her, no desks to trap her, even the air felt better. There was nowhere to run to, but for the moment, Bastila was satisfied to be running away from something.

* * *

Revan wandered the grasslands outside the Enclave aimlessly. It was a warm sunny day, and the open grasslands were far more pleasant to spend free time in than the stuffy Enclave.

Even at 7 years old, Revan was an overachiever. He was always the first in his class to master skills, earning him typical modest Jedi praise from his instructors, but also loneliness. Finishing early always left him with seemingly useless free time to fill while waiting for his best friend Alek Squinquargesimus.

Revan heard rustling grass in the distance and looked up, expecting to see a kath hound, but was greeted by something else: a small figure was running in his direction.

'What the heck? That's not Alek. Who's that, and why are they here?'

Revan squinted, trying to make out details of the figure, quickly seeing that it was a small girl in Jedi robes, crying her eyes out as she ran. Revan winced at the noise, still standing in place. The girl had apparently not noticed him yet.

'Why couldn't that be Alek instead of a girl? Even a kath hound would have been more fun than some girl. She's loud too.'

'Well I guess it's better than nothing. Even some girl is better than having nothing to do.'

Revan crosses his arms and waited for the girl to get to him. Unfortunately, while Revan had seen Bastila, she had not seen him and ran right into him, landing on her butt from the collision.

"Owie..." Bastila rubbed her sore butt and looked up to see a boy decidedly taller than her in youngling robes, with his arms crossed looking down at her with an angry expression. "Uh… who are you?" Bastila asked with fear in her voice.

"I'm the guy you just ran into!"

"Oh! I'm so, so sorry!" Bastila sniffled, threatening to break out crying again.

Revan blinked and broke out in a nervous sweat. "Awe come on, don't cry. I didn't mean it like that! …Please?" He sat down next to Bastila awkwardly. "So uh… who are you?"

"I'm Bastila. Bastila Shan." Bastila still sniffled, but at least for the moment the risk of crying seemed to have been averted.

"I'm Revan." He received no response to that. It took him several tries to think of what to say next, his mouth opening and closing several times before any words came out. "So um… what happened to you?"

"Happened?" Bastila looked at him, confused.

"You're crying."

"No I'm not! I'm not a baby you know!"

"Yes you were crying!" All of a sudden boredom wasn't look as bad as it had a minute ago.

"Only a little!"

Revan groaned. Girls could be so stubborn sometimes. "Fine, whatever. I don't care. Why were you crying only a little?"

Bastila hugged her knees to her chest. "I don't want to be here. I don't wanna be a Jedi!"

"Why not?"

"I wanna go home! I wanna see my Daddy!"

Bastila started to cry again at this. Revan looked at her, completely at a loss as to what to say or do. 'Geez, what do I do now? She's crying. I know I should do something. Comfort her or something?' Revan hesitantly put an arm around Bastila, who leaned against Revan, now crying into the shoulder of his robe.

"Awe come on, it's not so bad here. I guess it's not as nice as your home, but they teach cool stuff. Powers and stuff like that. You can have fun with them. And you get to be all famous and powerful and all. Everybody in the galaxy looks up to Jedi and wants to be one. We actually get to."

"I thought we're not supposed to use power like that? Aren't there rules or something? I thought one of those Master guys said something like that…"

Revan shrugged dismissively. "They say lots of stuff like that. But they're not always around. You probably aren't supposed to try and run away. They didn't catch you."

Bastila looked up at Revan. "Uh, well… that's true…"

"Uh, I was joking you know, right? They get all uptight about powers."

"Why'd you say it then?"

"Thought it'd make you feel better." Revan shrugged. "Work at all?"

"Maybe a little. I still don't like it here though."

"Why not? It's nice out here. You know, sun and grass and stuff."

Bastila rolled her eyes. "I mean that Enclave place we gotta live at."

"Yeah, I know. Don't you have any friends or anything though?"

"N…no. Not really."

"Why not?" Revan asked in surprise.

"I'm not very good at making friends. I uh didn't talk to the other kids when I got here. I was sort of um… crying… a lot… So the other kids all kinda just ignored me. They're all friends now and nobody even tries to talk to me." Bastila sniffled, but Revan hugged her tighter. That had the desired effect. Bastila calmed down. "They all say I'm not worth talking to or they make fun of how I talk. My accent or something. Or sometimes they just call me a crybaby. But nobody wants to really talk to me. Nobody wants to be my friend."

Revan nodded sadly. The Jedi may have taught great skills that could change the face of an entire galaxy, but when it came to helping a lonely child their care left a lot to be desired.

"What about you?" Bastila asked.

"Well, I'm not quite as bad as you, but close. I've got one friend, my best friend, a guy named Alek Squi… Squigley something. I dunno. His last name is like ninety letters. I can't ever remember it."

Bastila giggled. "But wait, if he's your only friend isn't he um, automatically your best friend?"

Revan blinked, looking down at Bastila with an amused expression. "Hmm, yeah, guess that's true. Never thought about it."

"So where is he then?" Bastila asked.

"Still in school. I always seem to finish school stuff faster than anyone else. I'm just good at it. Alek though…. Not so much. Except when it comes to combat. Alek seems to love that. Guy's just a beast there."

"A beast?" Bastila asked, a hint of fear creeping into her voice.

"Nah, don't worry. He's okay. He just really enjoys sparring."

Revan looked up and saw the topic of the conversation approaching, giving Revan an odd look.

"What's up with the girl, Revan?" Alek asked his friend.

"I ran into her out here; name's Bastila. She's sorta not happy here. She's having a hard time with missing home and her family."

Alek nodded. Every youngling sooner or later knew the feeling of missing home and the difficulties of Jedi life.

"You gonna stay out here then?" Alek asked.

Revan looked down at Bastila a bit, noticing he still had his arm around her and she was leaning comfortably against him. "Nah, I think we can head back now, right Bastila?"

Bastila nodded slowly. Revan got up, helping Bastila up off the grass before the three future Jedi started the walk back to the Enclave.

* * *

Over time, Bastila, Revan and Alek became good friends, particularly Bastila and Revan, much to the relief of the Masters. There had been serious concern that Bastila wouldn't make it through the training, but her new friendships finally put those fears to rest. By the time Revan and Alek became Padawans, the three were inseparable.

As the years had passed, the three grew and changed, as all children and eventually teenagers do. Revan's habit of mastering every lesson in seemingly record time continued, later translating into a command of the Force that was remarkable. The Masters looked on Revan's progress with satisfaction, and at times almost fear, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by the boy. Through the years he'd learned to study people, watch their movements, their faces, their body language, not simply rely on the Force as most Jedi did. This gave him an ability to _read_ people unlike normal Jedi, who would simply ignore the physical and rely on the Force as a crutch.

Alek, too, had changed. Not long after puberty Alek became a rather famous figure among the females at the enclave. While dating was most certainly not a proper action for Jedi, there was a certain amount of give and take on the matter. The Masters correctly realized that no matter how strong the lectures forbidding attachments, teenage hormones would more often than not win out in the end. So a blind eye was turned, as long as those involved were not blatant, and as long as the relationships never became too serious.

Had any of the Masters confronted Alek about his attachments, he could truthfully have said he had no attachment to any girl he was dating. This proved to be amusingly true. Very quickly Revan gave up bothering to keep track of the names of Alek's flings. By the time he'd learn one's name, she'd be long gone and Alek would have moved on to at least three other girls.

As liberal an interpretation of the Jedi codes as Alek had, Bastila was the strict opposite, leading to quite a few heated exchanges between the two, forcing Revan to mediate. Truth be told, Revan fell much closer to Alek's position than Bastila's, but to keep the peace was quiet about it. Revan more and more questioned parts of the Jedi code, particularly the part forbidding emotional attachments, especially a growing attachment to a certain brown haired girl.

Revan increasingly found his gaze lingering on Bastila. Fortunately so far his subconscious staring habit had been discreet enough that Bastila was none the wiser. The last thing he wanted was a lecture from Bastila on the evils of emotional attachments. Since walking back to the Enclave with Revan and Alek all those years ago, Bastila had thrown herself into her studies. She became top of her class, often studying with Revan and Alek. Their studies may have been two years ahead of Bastila's, but she did her best, and by the time her classes would cover the material Revan and Alek had studied with her, she had an insurmountable advantage over her classmates But Bastila's dedication to the Jedi way of life was not without problems for her. Among the more innocent problems was Alek's incessant desire to point out how rivals like Revan and Bastila tended to wind up together. That much Bastila could live with, easily falling back on the Jedi code to remind Alek of how unwise such an attachment would be. More difficult to deal with was the effect Bastila's advanced studies had on her social standing with her peers. The widely held impression of her was of a spoiled princess; one that no one wanted to be around. Frigid and stuck up were among the nicer words used when people didn't think Bastila could hear them.

Ironically it wasn't isolation that was the worst problem for the Jedi's poster girl; it was her growing closeness to Revan. Her pulse would race around him, a blush would spread across her cheeks whenever Revan smiled at her, and more and more she found herself daydreaming of him. At first she'd written it off as simply being good friends, then later teenage hormones. Eventually Bastila realized she couldn't explain her feelings away, but instead focused on damage control, with endless repetition of the Jedi code as her version of a cold shower. When that wasn't enough, she played the martyr, sacrificing her own feelings out of fear that if she told Revan it would end their friendship. After all, how could he be around her if she told him how she felt, only to be rebuffed? Bastila had never thought of herself as pretty; nor did she think she was unattractive. Jedi never seemed to speak of such things, so Bastila honestly had no idea. Dating and even flirting were alien concepts to Bastila. Worse than ignorance for Bastila were her fears.

'What if this isn't how normal girls my age feel? Maybe there's something wrong with me? The Masters all say this is wrong after all. Alek seems to have these urges, so maybe it's all right? Revan never does though. Maybe he just doesn't have these feelings for anyone? What if I say something and he thinks I'm some sort of freak or doesn't want to be around me any more? I don't think I could live with that. Besides, if he had any feelings for me he'd have said anything. He's older; he'd have had them first. We're together all the time, there's no way he could have felt like this for two years and not said a thing. No, it has to just be me. Looks like I'll just have to live with this. Maybe if I ignore it long enough it'll go away.'

* * *

The day Bastila was made a Padawan was the happiest of her life, and her only two friends in the world knew it. When Bastila walked out of the council chamber, they were there waiting for her.

"Hey look who made Padawan" Revan said with a grin.

"Yep, our little princess is a Padawan." Alek agreed.

Bastila attempted an angry glare at Alek, but her mood just wouldn't seem to allow it.

"Come on, let's get out of here." Revan said, leading the way towards the exit from the Enclave. "We've got a little something set up outside."

The three walked outside to where Revan and Alek had set up a small picnic. Being so isolated it was quite difficult to arrange any sort of real celebration, a situation Alek in particular complained of regularly. Despite that, Bastila's eyes lit up when she saw what her friends had done for her.

"Sorry that it's not much." Revan apologized.

"It's perfect, Revan. Thank you." Bastila looked at him, smiling like he'd seldom seen. Her gray eyes seemed so warm, and he could swear there was a touch of blue to them. When had that gotten there?

The two completely missed Alek's muttered remark expressing his displeasure with the isolation of the enclave, and it wasn't until he coughed rather obviously that the two young Padawans stopped staring at each other.

"You two sure you wouldn't rather have a nice, private room rather than an open public field?" Alek asked, clearly enjoying his friends' embarrassment. The two turned bright red and took a step back from each other.

"Uh, no um, we're fine, right Bas?" Revan asked nervously.

"Of course we are. I have no idea whatsoever Alek may be referring to." Bastila said, quickly recovering and defaulting to her familiar haughty, cultured voice.

Alek grinned, hardly deterred by his friends' denials. "Sure. Yeah, lemme see if I buy that. Hmm, do I even need to consult the Force on this one?"

Ignoring Alek, Revan and Bastila sat down to begin the modest celebration. For several hours the trio ate, laughed and enjoyed the afternoon. Finally Alek rose and looked at the other two.

"I gotta get going. Sparring match with some uppity Padawan. Idiot bet me 50 credits he could take me."

"Alek, it is not proper to bet in such things!" Bastila coolly retorted. "It is not the Jedi way."

"Ah relax Princess Padawan. Not like I'm gonna fall to the dark side just for taking 50 credits. Besides, he seemed to have an awful lot of pride when he bet me. I'd be remiss in my Jedi duties if I let that continue!"

Bastila sputtered, unable to come up with a response, both to the name she'd spent years trying to shake and to such an obviously facetious twisting of the Jedi code.

"You two play nice now. Don't do anything I wouldn't!"

Revan shook his head at his friend's obviously convenient absence, right before sunset, a time Alek often praised as being the ideal hour for romance.

The two sat in awkward silence for a while, neither wanting to be the first to speak and have to deal with Alek's very obvious implications. Each of the two assumed their feelings could never possibly be returned, so simply kept them quiet. Finally it was Revan who made the first move.

"Listen, Bas… I've been meaning to talk to you about something for a while now."

Bastila looked at him curiously, letting Revan say whatever he had to say. Alek's rather obvious attempts at setting the two up romantically still were at the forefront of her mind, and for the moment the Jedi Code was a distant second in Bastila's thoughts.

"I'm not sure how to say this really. We've known each other for a while now, well, years actually; almost our entire lives. I can barely remember a time when you weren't around, and the more I think about it, the more I don't want to. I can't imagine what life would be like if you weren't here, if I didn't see you all the time, if I couldn't even remember your face…"

Revan paused, taking a deep breath. So far all he'd said is things a close friend might say. He knew there was more and that the risks were there, but Revan was no coward.

"I know it shouldn't be true, it's forbidden and I should have better control over my emotions, but I don't. Bastila, I like you. A lot. And I don't mean that platonic Jedi way we're supposed to. I mean, romantically, like two people are supposed to like each other. Like real people care for each other."

Bastila was dumbfounded. She'd spent endless lonely nights wishing for this, dreaming of the day she and Revan would tell each other of their feelings in wonderful eloquent soliloquies like in all the holo-novels, but now that the moment was here, she had no words. No wonderful words of love in perfect rhyme and meter, no beautiful speeches pledging her heart in this life and the next, not even a girlish squeal of delight. Even the Jedi code, something Bastila tirelessly repeated and quoted with haughty arrogance at every opportunity failed her. So Bastila simply stared, slack jawed at the Padawan who risked his life among the Jedi to tell her how he felt.

"Um, Bas? You there? Hello? Dantooine to Bastila. This is Revan, risking his butt here. Say something, Bastila. Please?"

Bastila still couldn't find the words, so she did the next best thing: she threw herself at Revan, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly.

"Hmm, guess this means no lecture on how I violated the Code eh princess?" Revan remarked with a smirk.

"You're lucky I like you, or you'd pay for that 'princess' part, mister."

"You may be a princess, but you're _my_ princess."

"Well, that's not so bad I suppose…"

The two stared into each other's eyes, warm gray touched with deep blue met vibrant green. Neither felt like they were moving, yet somehow the two Jedi inched closer and closer. This time there was no Alek to interrupt them, no concerns of an audience, not even the rest of the Jedi enclave existed to them anymore. The world simply melted away as the two Padawans kissed.

* * *

Revan and Bastila had parted ways for the night, and Revan was almost back to his quarters when Alek found him.

"Well well, someone was out late." Alek said with a broad grin.

"Oh, um, Alek. Hi… How you been?"

"I think the only relevant question more how have you been? From that dumb look on your face I'd say pretty darned good. I wonder if Bastila has one to match. Maybe I should go check it out…"

"No! Um… no. It um, it's late, it'd be rude to bother her."

"Wow Revan, rude to bother her? You're really bad at this. Pathetic."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that for a guy who's all about reading people and body language and all that you've got about the worst poker face I've ever seen. First time I've ever seen you bad at something."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Revan asked, getting very defensive.

"It means that you've been the best at just about everything you've ever touched here. Well, except for light saber combat, there you finish second to yours truly. Who'd have guessed a girl would be Super Jedi's weakness."

"Hey! Come on now! I'm hardly a super Jedi."

"Yes you are. You're gonna make Knight in no time. And lets face it, nobody's gonna bet against you being a Master or eventually even making the Council, you and your sweetie Bastila there both. But if either of you are gonna make it you need to learn to be a bit less obvious. Judging by the way you look it won't be long till Vrook is all over you for breaking the rules."

"Damn, you're right. If I'm like this, Bastila's gotta be at least twice as bad. She's so emotional sometimes…"

"Relax. That's the first thing you both gotta do. It's not like you're the first Jedi to have a thing together. Just take it easy and be careful what you do when people are watching. Make sure you keep some control so you don't look like, well, like a grinning idiot after you've been with her, and make sure she does the same. It'll be fine."

"All right, I'll talk to her about it tomorrow. Thanks Alek."

* * *

Revan was up well before his first class the next day, rushing to Bastila's dorm, working hard to master a cool walk free of expression, no matter what sort of storm might be raging in his mind. It was a skill that like most, he quickly mastered. It would serve him well later in life. Reaching Bastila's quarters, Revan knocked on the door firmly. A short while later a very tired looking Bastila answered her door.

'Oh wow. Definitely not a morning person.'

"Revan? This better be good, because if you think you're getting anywhere at this hour, you've really got another thing coming."

"Oh wow. Um, sorry, Bas…"

"Yes yes, you're quite sorry I'm sure. Is there a point to this?"

"Oh! Um, yeah. I ran into Alek last night. Apparently I was acting kinda, well, obvious. And if he could figure it out from just a glance…"

Bastila paled, all grumpiness of the early hour forgotten.

"Do you think anyone else saw? You know what this could mean, don't you? We'll be thrown out. Exiled."

"Relax Bas; I know what it could mean. No one saw us. We're safe."

Bastila let out a breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding. Revan watched her quietly for a while before hesitantly asking "Do you want to break things off?"

"…No." Bastila knew she should have said yes, should have told him how throwing away their entire lives for what probably was just a simple fling was foolish. There were more important things in life than making out, no matter how good it may have felt. They were Jedi; they had a responsibility, to the Code, to each other, to the other Jedi across the galaxy, to the Republic, to the entire universe itself. Yet somehow, none of that seemed important at the moment even though Bastila knew it should have been.

"Me neither. So we'll have to be careful, especially about how we act around each other in public. We should be okay though. Long as we don't make a show of it, the Masters aren't looking to be too anal about this. Well, except for Vrook, but we can be more careful around him. It's not the first time Jedi have done this. They learned to manage hiding it, we can too. We're both bright overachievers after all."

Bastila smiles and nodded. Revan's plan sounded just fine to her; though any plan that would have kept them together would have sounded good to her.

"Ok Bas, sorry to drag you out of bed early. Have a good day."

Bastila smiled and after a quick check to confirm the corridor was empty she kissed Revan.

'Definitely a good way to start the day' Revan thought with a smirk.

* * *

Revan and Bastila were serious about the secrecy of their relationship, and were successful in going unnoticed. In time, as Alek had predicted, Revan was made a Jedi Knight, as was Alek himself. In short, life was rather good for Revan, Bastila and Alek.

Until the Mandalorians came.

They came upon the Republic like a storm, without reason or cause; they simply swept into Republic space and destroyed everything in their path. The entire galaxy stopped and stared in silent, horrified awe of the images of the first destroyed world as they spread across the holo-nets.

Revan watched the events play out on the news, and saw the Council handing out many more assignments than usual. 'Such a transparent effort. More to do means less time for other things. Like watching coverage of the war. It doesn't take a great mind to figure out that both the Mandalorians and all the new refugees they have us so busy taking care of are connected.'

Finally Revan decided it was time to share his thoughts with his two closest friends and see if they had drawn the same conclusions. So that day rather than eat, the three quietly made their way to Revan's room to talk.

Revan looked at both of them. "These Mandalorian attacks, they aren't just some raids, and this isn't just about expanding their borders. If it was either of those they'd have stopped by now. The Mandalorians want war and nothing but that." Revan said in a voice devoid of emotion.

"Yes, the flow of refugees is difficult to miss. As are the holo-nets. It's up to what, a dozen worlds now?" Bastila's voice was cool as usual, but she was just as affected by the scenes of carnage playing out on the Rim as Revan was. "The Council will know what to do. We must be patient and wait for their orders. I don't think it will be long. Access to data on the Mandalorians in the archives is suddenly restricted. I doubt the Council wants to be second-guessed before it acts."

"They better do something, and soon." Alek's muscles tensed as he spoke, his posture unconsciously changing almost to a combat stance. "We're Jedi; we're supposed to do something about stuff like this. I didn't spend all that time learning to fight just to sit on my butt and watch this sort of thing."

"Agreed." Revan nodded to his friend, his posture relaxed, but he could not hide the tension in his voice.

Bastila put a hand on Revan's shoulder. "Trust in the Council. I do not think we will have to wait for long."

* * *

But to the shock of nearly all Jedi at the Enclave, there was no call to war, no request for volunteers, no armed response of any sort. The Mandalorian invasion was met with only silence from the Jedi. And so, to the surprise of no one, the Mandalorian invasions continued. If one world wouldn't draw out worthy opponents to fight, the Mandalorians would strike another. And if that wouldn't be enough, they would conquer another, and another. Worlds would keep burning until the Mandalorians met a warrior worthy of them, and the true war began.

First days, then weeks, and finally months passed. Revan and Alek's patience was wearing thin. The two sparred increasingly; Revan in an effort to burn off frustrated energy fueled by every world devastated by the Mandalorians, whereas Alek, while eager to fight the Mandalorians, was simply content to have a regular sparring partner.

"Another world fell today, Alek. Another one. There's not a whole lot of the Outer Rim left. The Mid Rim's not exactly going to last long either." Revan's style had become increasingly aggressive since the first news reports of the invasion came, and today was no exception.

Alek nodded, matching Revan blow for blow in their match. He had heard this sort of talk from Revan endlessly in the past several months, long since past the point where he could listen to it and spar at the same time. It never seemed to matter what he said, Revan would always follow roughly the same script. All part of working off his frustrations, Alek figured. But this time, the conversation took an unexpected turn.

"I don't think I can just sit here and wait anymore."

"What do you mean, Revan?" Alek was surprised enough to hesitate and take a glancing hit.

Revan pressed his advantage in the duel. "We're Jedi for Force's sake. We're supposed to defend this galaxy. The Republic asked for help. They even begged. I don't know what the Council is waiting for, but I don't think I can wait any longer."

"You know I'm always up for a good fight, but what you're saying is heavy stuff. We'll be done in the Order. Exiled forever. And that's if the Council is merciful and doesn't cut us off from the Force forever. And besides, there's been a trickle of Jedi that joined the fight. Hasn't made a difference."

"I'm not talking about just two Jedi, old friend."

"Okay, three, can't forget your sweetie." Alek's remark hit the mark, quickly followed by his training saber.

Revan sighed, looking decidedly uncomfortable at the allusion to Bastila.

"Hey, Revan, sorry, sweetie's the wrong name for her?" Alek asked, sensing the duel was over.

"No, it's not that. Actually kinda funny how she reacts to names like that."

"What then?"

Revan's response was a long time in coming. "I'm not sure I want her to come."

"Why not? I thought you two were tight?"

"We are, that's not it. It's more, well… You've seen what these places look like, what these worlds look like once the Mandalorians are done. The holo-nets can't show it all; there's got to be even worse they just can't show out of ethical concerns."

"You don't think Bastila can handle that? Revan, she may be small, but the girl's tough. She can handle it."

"I know she can handle it. That's not the problem."

"So what is?"

"Seeing that sort of thing, day in and day out, going from battle to battle, and killing Mandalorian after Mandalorian. What do you think that will do to her? I know she can handle it, but nobody can go through that without being changed. She'll get harder, colder, she'll have to. How can she not? I don't know if I can do that to her. I'm pretty sure I don't want to do that to her. I love her like she is, I'm scared that if I do this to her, I'll ruin everything about her that makes her special."

"Wait a minute. Love?"

"Oh, um, hmm, did I say love?"

"Yes, you did. You told her yet?"

"No. And I'm not sure I can."

"Why? You know she wants to hear it. There's no doubt she feels the same for you. For all her stuck up attitude, that girl can't hide her feelings to save her life."

"Alek, what am I supposed to say to her? Oh, Bastila, I love you more than life itself, but sorry, I gotta go off to war. You can't come, so… Yeah… See you in a few years!"

"Hmm, I think she'd beat you to a pulp. Now that I think about it, I kinda want to see it."

"You're a funny man, Alek."

"I try."

"So what should I do then? I don't think I can just stay here and watch these massacres much longer. No matter what I feel about her, I just can't do it."

"Revan, you gotta be sure about what you want to do here. Much as I pity you for this, you're a one girl sort of guy. Me, I got no attachments to girls, if I break it off with one, no big deal, there's always more. You're weird though, brain damage or something. You're gonna be comparing any girl you ever meet to Bastila, and I don't see any of them measuring up in that broken mess of a head you have. This is life-changing decision territory here. If you really aren't willing to take her to war, you have to choose: the girl and dying slowly inside, hoping the war somehow turns out well, or go off and be the great warrior and be empty inside forever. Sounds like life will suck for you regardless."

"It sounds like such a wonderful future for me."

"Sorry. Life sucks sometimes. But hey, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it'll turn out okay for you somehow."

"Yeah, right. Anyone ever actually buy weak lines like that from you?"

"Dozens of satisfied former girlfriends, pal."

"Hmm, I wonder, is the former part of that statement what they're so satisfied with?"

"That's a low blow, Revan."

* * *

Despite hours of sparring with Alek and the physical exhaustion that resulted, sleep eluded Revan that night. No matter what his body said, his mind refused to rest, and with Revan, in disagreements between body and mind, the mind always won.

'There's just no good way to do this. Any choice I make, someone's going to get hurt. I'm sure Vrook would find this hilarious, some sort of Force sent punishment for ignoring the code. Simple math says hurt one and save many is a simple choice. Only my forbidden attachment makes this difficult.'

Revan sighed, hating where that line of thinking was taking him.

'But then, if the math is so simple, this wouldn't have come up at all. The Council would have sent us off to war as soon as the Republic asked. And for Force knows what reason, that didn't happen.'

'Maybe taking her along wouldn't be so bad. I could keep her from the worst of it; shield her from the most terrible of the horrors. Bah, what am I thinking? That girl does what she wants; it's one of the things about her I like so much. No, she'll throw herself into that war every bit as hard as I would. It'll be exactly as hard on her as I think it would. Every bit as bad as I told Alek.'

'Even if I go, she'll want to follow me. She's resourceful; she'll find a way, no matter what rules or measures the Masters take. That'd be wonderful, not only would she get beaten down by war, she'd be mad at me to start it off. Being a Jedi just isn't as simple as it should be sometimes. Force damned choices.'

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Well, that does it for chapter 1 of what I've decided to call Choices. I didn't come up with the name until the end of this chapter, but I think it fits what I'm planning for the story to shape up as. It's my first story, first attempt at any sort of writing really, so I'd love to hear what people think of it. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it.

I'd like to thank my beta readers. It's my first fic and I had no idea how many was normal, so I managed to get three rather than the normal one. So thank you to Rev'ika, WingedGirl4Life, and The Outlander. I needed all the help I could get, and you three were great.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **Star Wars and associated characters aren't mine. As if you didn't already know that.

In case it's not clear: "whatever" is talking, 'whatever' is thinking.

* * *

The day quickly came where the Dantooine Council could no longer ignore the angry talk in the halls of the war. Simply telling Padawans and younglings to be silent and trust the Council's wisdom just didn't have the lasting effect it did at first. So the Council decided to call an assembly of all present at the Enclave to put the issue to rest once and for all. It would be recorded and saved in the archives, so any future disgruntle students could be referred to it, rather than making the Masters endlessly repeat themselves.

Unfortunately the announcement of an assembly to discuss the Mandalorian War only increased talk and spawned a hundred new rumors. Everything from speculation of the Council mobilizing the entire order for war to asking for volunteers for a squad to defeat Mandalore himself in were heard in the halls.

The days leading up to the assembly had seen a chance in Revan. Always a top student and strong with the Force, Revan had begun to push himself even harder. Seemingly every spare minute he had was spent training. He would spare with Alek, or with Bastila, and when both were busy or simply tired of combat (Alek rarely did, but Bastila did not enjoy combat to the same degree) he would spar with absolutely anyone he could find.

After watching Revan's behavior for a few days, Bastila made a point to be in the training room before dawn. It was still empty, so she sat down and waited, watching the door. She only needed to wait a few minutes for Revan to enter.

"Bas? What are you doing here this early?"

"Revan, tell me what's wrong?" Bastila's voice seemed calm, but Revan could tell Bastila was nervous. Her posture, the way she spoke, the fact she didn't open with 'good morning' or a similar greeting all added up to tell Revan something was bothering Bastila very badly.

"Wrong? Nothing's wrong, Bas. Why?"

"I know something is wrong, Revan. Something changed a few days ago; you've changed. You practically live in this room. All you do anymore is train. Lightsabers, Force powers, physical training, you've become fanatical about it. I'm worried, Revan. Please, tell me what's wrong?"

Revan took a deep breath and looked down at the floor before looking up again to meet Bastila's gaze. "Bas… Yeah, you're right, things did change. You've seen the news reports, the same as I have. You know what's going on. It's not the same anymore; we're not just training for some vague future. That war is going to be ours, one way or another."

"We don't know that yet, Revan. The Council has not announced a decision yet. I can't imagine them sitting the war out, but they have so far. For all we know the Republic may well win on its own." Bastila's argument had logic, but her tone was of a girl who knew what she was saying probably wasn't true.

"I'd love to know why the Council hasn't acted already. They've waited too long as it is."

"Well, you're certainly not alone in thinking that. But there's more, isn't there? You're taking this personally."

Revan sighed. "Yeah, I am. This just all feels so wrong. It goes against all the reasons I ever wanted to be a Jedi. I'm useless here. Helping refugees may be important work and all, but it's not why any of us is here. One way or another, things will change. One way or another, this war will be ours, and I refuse to not be ready when it becomes my war."

Bastila looked into Revan's eyes and saw an intensity she had rarely seen there. She literally could find nothing more to say.

* * *

Later that day, shortly before the assembly Revan, Bastila and Alek were once more in the training room talking after having finished their work outs.

"Finally! The old fossils are going to do something!" Alek had begun to grow tired of training with seemingly no point.

"I'm not so sure," Bastila said. "If we were going to war, why aren't any of the Knights or Masters out on scouting missions or already being deployed?"

"Maybe they want to send everyone at once, big wave of Jedi for maximum effect?" Alek grinned, obviously picturing it.

Revan let Alek have his moment before speaking. "That might be effective, but I'm with Bastila on this one. There's just no sign of it. There aren't enough shuttles around, not enough activity at the spaceport, nothing. If we were going to fight, there'd be preparations going on."

"So what, you think they're just going to tell us the Jedi are sitting on our butts, now stop pestering them? On, and while we're at it, stop watching the war coverage too maybe?" Alek growled, clenching his fists.

"Yeah Alek, that about covers it; I think that's exactly what we'll hear. Oh, wordier and nicer, but that's going to be the bottom line I think."

"Disgusting!" Alek literally spat the word out.

* * *

The Jedi had selected the Enclave's auditorium for this assembly. Dozens of seats were arrayed stadium-style facing a small stage. The room was not used often, only for Enclave wide assemblies such as this. A normal school might have found such a space used for theatrical productions, but Jedi had better things to do with their time than sing or act.

Revan, Bastila and Alek made sure to be early for the assembly. The room was nearly deserted when they arrived. It was cold, with the only sound being the fan blowing more conditioned air into the space that soon enough would be filled. Revan sat with the practiced calm look he always seemed to wear before and after seeing Bastila on his face. Within minutes Jedi crowded into the assembly hall, filling it to capacity and beyond; Jedi took to standing in the aisles and back of the room. While the talk in the hallways could find no common ground on what to expect from this meeting, everyone seemed to realize it was important.

.

At precisely the appointed hour Masters Vandar, Zhar and Vrook calmly walked onto the stage and took their seats. The recording devices were activated, beaming the assembly to the Jedi in the field and unable to attend. Vandar stood and calmly raised a small hand; the hall fell silent.

"Please, if we could have silence we will begin. We have all seen the news of the Mandalorian invasion. There is more and more talk about this, and about where the Jedi fit in, and we, the Council, feel it is time to state the facts, once and for all."

Vandar calmly continued. He was always a patient teacher, and this occasion was no different. "Firstly, yes, the Mandalorians have attacked. As far as we know, the attacks were completely unprovoked, and both Republic and Neutral worlds have been targeted. Also, it is true that the Republic has officially requested the aid of the Jedi. After due consideration, the Jedi Council on Coruscant has declined this request."

Unhappy murmurs passed through the crowd. Revan's detached expression cracked, and the beginnings of a frown appeared.

"Please, please. Quiet please." Vandar still spoke calmly. The displeasure filling the room seemed to have no visible effect on the Jedi Master. "We cannot in good conscience go to war as the Republic asks. There is no logic to these attacks. Mandalorians normally simply do not butcher like we have seen. The Council feels, as do I, that something else is manipulating the Mandalorians."

Revan frowned, gripping the armrests of his chair tightly.

"As terrible as the images we all have seen are, we are Jedi; we must remain strong. If the Mandalorians are, as we suspect, merely pawns, we cannot simply fight them and leave the galaxy and the Republic undefended against what will follow."

The metal armrests of Revan's chair creaked in protest, deforming under the vices of his grip. 'Millions die and they want us to just sit and watch? Worlds burn and we're supposed to tell ourselves it's ok? Just so we're ready for some vague puppet master in the shadows? This is garbage!'

Master Vrook frowned and stepped forward, clearly meaning to put a stop to the waves of discontent resonating across the room. "Silence! You are Jedi, you will act like it! The Jedi life is about service and dedication, not simply running off to the nearest battle! The Council sees the entire picture. It is composed of the wisest and greatest Jedi Masters in the galaxy. They have the facts, all the facts, not just what you see on the holonet. You insult the Council with your complaints, and it will be tolerated no longer. This is the policy of the Jedi: we will not go to war. This decision is final and it is not up for debate."

Revan's armrest snapped, the sound of metal giving way echoed through the chamber like a gunshot. He flung the broken metal to the floor as he stood, his face a picture of rage. "We insult the Council? What kind of pathetic joke is that supposed to be? You're the ones who are insulting! You insult us and every other Jedi in the galaxy!"

Applause and a few cheers erupted from the assembled Jedi. Vrook growled, but no could hear over the uncharacteristically loud Jedi filling the room. "That is enough! Sit down and be silent, Knight Revan."

"I will do no such thing! I've sat and watched too long and I refuse to do it a moment longer! Millions die and all you care about is the fact you're tired of being pestered by the students? What kind of abominations are you? This isn't what the Jedi are all about. We do what's right, not what's convenient. Even younglings know that."

Cheers rang out from the audience, particularly the younger students. Vrook roared for silence, displaying a rage few there had seen. The previously enthusiastic Jedi recoiled, sinking into their seats. "You are confined to your quarters until further notice, Revan. The Council will discuss your punishment and inform you of our decision at the appropriate time. Now get out of my sight. We have business to conclude here."

"No," Revan's voice was calm, but carried more weight than Vrook's roar. "I will not leave, Master. I've sat and watched and waited for too long, but I hoped at this meeting you would finally wake up and do the right thing. It's so painfully obvious what we have to do, I knew you still wouldn't, but I had faith and hope left, so I gave you all this chance. But you let me down. So I'm done taking your orders. It's time I started to think for myself."

Vrook stared blankly at Revan, mouth agape with a rebuke he was unable to give voice to. Being unable to summon words, he turned to rest of the council seeking guidance. He found none.

Revan looked around the room at the assembled Jedi. "Is this why we became Jedi? To sit in our Temple and our Enclaves and watch the galaxy burn?" A few Jedi shook their heads.

"Perhaps to see how far our patience will stretch when counted in lives?" A few cries of "No!" cried the listeners in response.

"Or maybe it's to tell everyone what honorable people we are and then refuse aid to those we vowed to protect?" Cries of "No!" thundered down.

"Well that's certainly not what I became a Jedi! I don't cower while people die and then pretend it's wisdom!" Revan's voice was rapidly gaining strength, his posture strong. He looked over the crowd as he spoke, completely ignoring the stage those on it now. "That's not how Jedi should behave! It's what we'd expect to see in a Sith! They're the ones that leave people to die, not us. They're the ones that promise help and then run to hide when they're asked to deliver. We're Jedi! We're better than that! It's time we acted like it!"

The assembled Jedi responded in cheers and applause. Vandar took a quick step forward, desperately trying to be heard in the din that filled the room. "Please, please, be calm! This is not the time for unrestrained emotion! I understand that it is difficult to wait, but we must be patient. We must bide our time until we can be the most effective and deal with the source of this, not just the symptoms the Mandalorians represent."

Revan turned his gaze to Vandar, annoyed surprise written across it. "You just don't get it, do you? Billions are dead. Whole worlds reduced to graveyards. You're talking about strategy. You should be talking about mountains of rotting corpses, piled as high as a building. What's it matter who's behind this if there's no galaxy left? It's time to stop staring into the distance. There's a bottomless pit at our feet, and if you won't do something about it, I will. I'm done being a child hiding under my bed. I'm a Jedi. I'm going to act like it."

The assembled Jedi chanted Revan's name and cheered. Next to Revan, Alek stood. "He's not alone! I'm going with him! It's time for us to man up and fight!"

Bastila also stood, joined by first a handful, then several and finally dozens of Jedi across the room. Revan gave a mocking bow to the stage and walked out, his posture proud and his pace unhurried and in control. Alek and Bastila followed him, along with nearly half the Jedi in attendance

* * *

Revan found himself quickly overwhelmed by the flock of Jedi he led out of the assembly hall. It seemed everyone in the Enclave wanted to pat him on the back, tell him they would back him no matter what he did next or offer words of support the blended in to the ones before and after them.

'I swear. It's got to be the will of the Force I don't get a moment to handle things.' Despite the Force's best efforts, Revan managed to finally duck into a short dead end hallway unnoticed. He waited for Alek to catch up, and upon seeing him grabbed him dragging him down the deserted corridor quickly.

"Hey Revan! What's the deal?"

"Not so loud Alek! You don't know what it took to escape from that mob!"

Alek laughed. "Okay, okay, Revan. I'll play nice. So, what's up?"

"Thanks." Revan took a breath. "There's no way I can stay here, not after what just happened. I wasn't just ranting there, I really meant it. I'm leaving the Enclave."

Alek nodded as if it were obvious. "I know. I'm going along; you don't need to say your goodbyes to me."

"I know, and I appreciate it, Alek. I imagine a lot of people are going to follow us. So I need you to do something for me. Go to the spaceport; see if you can book passage on a Republic ship there. If not try and get them to call in something that will carry us all. Doesn't really matter what kind of ship or where it's going, we just need to get out here, we can get nice and organized once we're gone."

"Sure," Alek easily agreed then looked curiously at his friend. "Wait, where you going to be though?"

"I have something…. Difficult I have to take care of." Revan answered.

"Difficult? After basically telling Vrook where to go shove his Council what could possible be difficult for you?"

Revan sighed. "The short, brunette, pig-tailed sort of difficulties."

"Oh. Yeah, no problem then, Revan." Alek turned to leave but stopped, resting a hand of Revan's shoulder. "Good luck, man. I know how tough it's gonna be."

Revan nodded to Alek. "Thanks."

* * *

Revan waited while people made their way back to their quarters. Finally, when the halls were clear enough Revan made his way to Bastila's quarters.

'This has got to be somebody's idea of a joke,' Revan thought to himself. 'Well I'm sure not laughing. It's not damned funny at all! This should be easy; life should be good. I walk out of the Order, no more rules, or Code, or caring what the Council thinks, I should be able to be with Bastila and not have to sneak around now. I've wanted that for a long time, so has she. Instead I'm about to break her heart. I'm pathetic.'

Revan reached Bastila's door and hesitated only for a moment before knocking. Soon enough Bastila answers, greeting Revan with a warm smile. "Why hello, Revan. Please, come in."

Revan followed Bastila into her room, closing the door once he was in.

"Bas, I want you to stay."

Bastila blinked, staring at Revan in confusion. "Stay? What, you mean at the Enclave? What are you talking about?"

"Yes. Stay at the Enclave when we leave."

"What? No, I don't think so. Not after that speech. Not going to happen. And I don't appreciate your asking!" Bastila's eyes flared with anger.

Revan ignored the gunmetal orbs staring at him. "This isn't a joke Bastila! This war isn't a game to run off to!"

"Don't you think I know that Revan! I'm not some naive child! I haven't been for a long time now." Bastila's fists clenched.

"Miss Shan is all grown up, is she?" Revan met Bastila's anger with a mocking grin.

Bastila glared at Revan, unable to find the words to voice her rage. This was a cold, mocking Revan she'd never met before.

"Well Bastila, if you really were as grown up as you think you'd know this was serious. People die in war, and it's hardly the place for some adolescent crush. Puppy love doesn't amount to a thing in the real world. Mandalorians won't care what you think is in your heart; they'll just kill you. So stop lying to yourself, you aren't cut out for this. You're a little girl with a crush, and I'm out of time to indulge it. I've got more important things to do than baby sit." Revan's cold expression didn't show a hint of doubt in his words.

Bastila stared at him, wounded in a way no light saber could ever match. She searched Revan's face for signs of hesitation or doubt, but found none. Her eyes started tearing up, but she could find no words to match the tears. So she stopped trying and instead slapped Revan with all the fury she could muster.

Revan winced as Bastila's hand struck him, but took it silently. 'No going back on it now. She hates me. But at least she won't follow now.'

"I thought you were something special, Revan. I thought you were someone I really cared about." Bastila's voice faltered slightly. "I **loved** you, Revan. But you don't feel the same; you can't feel the same. If you did you'd never have said something like that." Bastila was crying now, rushing to finish her words. "Go fight your war. Go with Alek and you legion of adoring fans or whatever it is you care about. I don't care what you do as long as you get the hell out and never come back!"

Revan turned and trudged out of the room. It took all his concentration just to put one foot in front of the other. He couldn't help but jump when Bastila slammed the door behind him. He couldn't have been deader inside if it had been his coffin being slammed shut on him.

* * *

Eventually Revan's rambling journey brought him back to his own quarters. He entered and his automaton movements took him to his desk where collapsed into his chair, head held in his hands.

That was exactly how Alek found him when he entered the room, data pads loaded with travel arrangements in his hands.

Alek opened his mouth to report, but quickly thought better of a business meeting. "That bad?" he asked softly.

Revan slowly looked at his friend and nodded weakly. "Yeah, that bad. The last thing she said to me was to get out and never come back."

"Ouch. Harsh. But at least she'll be safe so she can hate you for a long time."

"Well that's certainly comforting, Alek." Revan's voice was scathing. "If war doesn't work out for you, you can always write greeting cards."

"Hey, I'm trying here. Besides, it's better than listening to you go on about how this is the worst day of your life, like I know you're about to."

Revan sighed. "Even if it's true?"

"It doesn't matter. It's too late to change it; you made your choice now it's time to live with it. Oh, and try not to get killed by moping around when some Mandalorian is fighting you."

* * *

The next day, Revan walked to the spaceport with the same cool, detached style that was fast becoming his trademark. Most times he wore that expression, it was a front, and today was no exception. His eyes kept darting around, looking in shadows and around corners, on the lookout for a small brunette girl in pig-tails. 'Just need to get out of here. A few more minutes and I'll be on a ship and safe. Just a little bit more and I won't have to worry about seeing her again, about losing my resolve and forgetting everything about this war and just being with her instead.' Revan got his wish, and instead of Bastila, someone else was waiting for Revan at the spaceport: Master Vrook stood at the bottom of the ramp of Revan's ship. 'I wonder if it's too late to wish for Bastila instead.'

Vrook stood with his arms crossed, patiently waiting for Revan to come to him. "Revan, this is your last chance. Give up this foolishness. You had your moment, you spoke your piece, but now it's time to grow up. Give up this foolishness, a few children won't make a difference; you'll just die for nothing. Turn around and go back to your room. You have my word we will be reasonable in our handling of this matter."

"A kind offer to be sure, Master. But I'm afraid it's an offer we must pass on." Revan couldn't resist a smirk.

Vrook frowned deeply. "I see attempting to be reasonable is a waste of time with you. Then know this, any Jedi who steps on that transport is a Jedi no longer; you are exiles. You will have no rights as a Jedi, no access to places of the Jedi, no home here. You will be outcasts for all time." Vrook's voice rose as he spoke, reaching a righteous crescendo by the end.

Revan rolled his eyes. 'There's a long list of things I'll miss. He's not on it. As if idiotic threats could stop me. If he actually cared he might have bothered to show me what I'm giving up, remind me of all I'm losing. Instead he leads with a lecture. Typical.'

Revan spoke confidently. "I understand. If our actions save millions or even billions of lives by ending this war it's a small price to pay. Now if you'll excuse me, I can afford to let you detain me no longer. Good bye, Master."

Revan gave a slight bow to Master Vrook and walked past him, followed by all the now exiled Jedi.

* * *

Revan need not have concerned himself with avoiding Bastila, for she had no intention of leaving her room to see the exiled Jedi off. She honestly had no idea how she would react to seeing Revan again and wasn't prepared to take any chances. Instead Bastila sat at her desk, trying to study. For the past three hours she had been staring at the same paragraph and still couldn't for the life of her remember what it said.

'What could possibly have possessed him to act like that and say those things? He was so… cold. I've never seen him like that before. I know he is not like that normally. Not to me at least. It cannot have been real! So why would he do it?'

'Could it have been that he thought our relationship was wrong or a mistake somehow? Possibly that I was wrong for him maybe? Perhaps he got tired of me or met someone else? Or that I was too annoying or immature maybe? That would mean he traded up or just plain got tired of the little stuck up follower girl? He certainly said things to that effect.'

Bastila considered this possibility for a long time. Her already neglected studying was now completely ignored. Finally she came to a conclusion.

'No, that cannot be. If he had found someone else or had somehow tired of me he would have told me. Revan is no coward; he would have faced me and told me directly. Even if he is a complete bastard, he would have at least looked me in the eye and said the words. It must be something else.'

'It's the war; it has to be. This all started because of that damned war. For some reason he didn't want me there. Something he thought was good enough to rip my heart out over. That has to be it. His cruelty was deliberate.' Bastila sighed and closed her book, giving up on the pretense of studying.

Bastila shook her head and heard Master Vrook as if he were in the room. 'This, young Padawan is they attachment is forbidden; nothing good comes of it. You leave yourself open, exposed, at risk. And sooner or later the attachment will hurt you, make you act in a rash or foolish manner. Love is the worst of all. It makes you completely forget the greater good in favor of an individual. No matter what romantic prattle those sophomoric holo-novels you so love may indulge in, love is the path to the dark side. Even the Sith know better than to indulge it. They at least restrict their baser passions to mere lust. Remember this pain, Padawan, let it serve as a reminder to you all your life. Any time you should waver or doubt the Code look back on this hurt and know that acting in defiance of the wisdom of the Code will result in naught but ill.'

Bastila growled and threw the book across her room. 'Revan is such an ass! Now I have bloody Vrook's voice in my head lecturing me! And the worst part is the windbag makes sense!'

Bastila sighed and worked on getting her breathing under control, slowly calming. 'In the end the reason is irrelevant. Whatever it is, I am here and he soon will not be. And no matter how much it might sound romantic, I know I will not go after him. I won't chase him, professing my love, or wait for him at his ship ready to offer my heart. No matter how much I may want to rush out and find him, stare into his eyes and know we will be together forever, sealing our destinies with a kiss, that simply is not me. That sort of happily ever after is for holo-novels, not the real world and not for Jedi.'

'Besides, I'm not fit out to be a holo-novel heroine; I don't have the wardrobe for it. My clothes just never seem to fall off at the right time like theirs do.' Bastila smiled softly for the first time since her fight with Revan.

* * *

Revan's departure had affected Bastila greatly, ironically in many of the ways Revan had feared her following him would result in. Bastila, already a girl with only two friends to speak of, made no effort to befriend others with the departure of Revan and Alek. Quite the contrary, she became even more cold and distant. With Revan around, people had though her stuck-up, without Revan they knew it. Her imaginary lecture from Vrook to herself affected Bastila powerfully, and she dedicated herself to the Code in a way that rivaled her imaginary lecturer himself. Bastila didn't just move on from Revan, she tried to move on from humanity in general. But whether it was fate, the will of the Force, or just dumb luck, Revan and Bastila would see each other again.

Over the course of the war, Revan returned to the Enclave several times, each time to speak with the Council. Bastila saw him from a distance, but somehow never seemed to be able to actually talk to him. Sometimes he was in a rush and spoke to no one, other times he had subordinates with him, but whatever the reason, it all seemed a bit too convenient for Bastila.

'He's avoiding me!' Bastila realized with annoyance on Revan's third visit. This only made her try harder. Eventually, her efforts met with success.

* * *

Revan had arrived at the Enclave earlier in the day and rushed to yet another meeting with the Council.

'I went to war to fight off the Mandalorians. When did that job start requiring less righting and more meetings? It's to the point I need a secretary for Force's sake! I see more Senators and Jedi Masters than Mandalorians. Given the choice, hard to say which I'd rather fight. If it was just a chance to rough them up some then it'd be a lot easier.'

Revan sighed. 'You'd think the only ones who wanted to win this war were the ones on the front. Senators are too busy playing games to get reelected, worrying about how they look compared to me, or busying themselves with telling me how to run the war or else I lose funding and troops, and the Jedi, well, the Jedi… they're just plain too important to care I think. And unless if I want the people and resources to fight this war I have to grin and deal with both. Almost enough to make a guy wonder if the Mandalorians are looking for a General.'

Revan walked into the Council chamber, even though he already knew how the meeting would go. In fact, he practically knew the script by heart. But like all too many things in his life, he had no choice.

The war was hardly a walk in the park. Yes, Revan's faction had managed to stop the Mandalorian advance, even begin pushing them back, but endless Senate interference in terms of tactics, men and supplies had slowed the counter offensive to a crawl. Simply put, Revan needed more: more men, more supplies, more Jedi, more of everything except what he had now: meetings.

Revan bowed to the Council, something he seemed to have to do more often now than when he was a Jedi.

"Masters, thank you for seeing me."

"Welcome, General." Zhar greeted him

.

"What is it this time? More of the same I presume?" Vrook made no effort to hide his dislike for Revan, which had only grown over the years.

Revan ignored Vrook, a policy he'd found to be for the best. "Thank you for seeing me, Masters. I'd like to renew my request for Jedi assistance in the war. Our recent gains are precarious, and while we have pushed the Mandalorians back, as our borders expand so do their attack opportunities. Every victory expands our holdings, requiring ever more people and resources to defend. The Republic needs help; it needs the Jedi. Victory is by no means assured. I need more still." The request was excessively stuffy and formal, but once again Revan's practiced cool air didn't show a thing of what he really thought of such pretentious sounding begging.

"We understand your difficulties, but our concerns remain unchanged." Vandar was always patient, but the answer was also always the same. "The reasons for our staying out of the war have not changed."

Zhar continued. "Please understand, Revan, we are not deaf to your concerns, nor are we blind to the suffering of the Republic's people, but we simple cannot weaken ourselves at this time. What good would it do if we helped the Republic now only to guarantee that we all would fall later?"

"Yes, the young and impatient would have us rush in now, but it is foolish. Merely to avoid short term pain you would have us sacrifice the entire Republic, the entire future in fact. We will not make such a mistake." Vrook's annoyed refusal made it unanimous. As always.

Once again, the script was followed perfectly, as Revan knew it would be. 'The same waste of time as my last visit. And the one before it. Not this time. This time I'll tell them what really think. They call me General, I'll show them what one looks like.'

"Yes, this vague distant enemy, how could I forget? Nemesis of the Jedi, and entire galaxy." Revan's words dripped with scorn. "I'm curious Masters, have you deployed Jedi to investigate it?" Revan was met with silence. "Perhaps you know of places it holds sway? I could send a frigate, or at the very least a scout team. It would be no trouble at all, I assure you." Still no reaction. "Or do you not know?"

"Our knowledge on this matter is not for you to know, Revan." Revan could always count on Vrook for a hard line response, and this was no exception.

Revan laughed. "You don't know! You don't know a damned thing! You haven't sent even a single Jedi, have you? What a joke. You talk about how important it is to wait until we know more, and what do you do? You sit in your Enclave and just meditate and wish real hard that by magic the answers will fall into your lap. Well guess what? That's not how the galaxy works. You have to get off your ass and actually do something. But I suppose we all know how likely that is!"

"It is not for you to pass judgment in this matter, General." Vandar tried to step in to defuse the situation, even though he knew it was almost certainly a lost cause. "Visions are often unclear. Even as talented a Jedi as you were, you only attained the rank of Knight. A Master would know the difficulty in trying to draw conclusions from something such as this. The danger of drawing the wrong assumption is too great. As is the danger of sending Jedi out at random. This threat would be virtually guaranteed to realize we know of it."

"No, I am sorry General," Vandar continued. "The Jedi must be patient in this matter, we cannot send Jedi to seek this danger, we cannot share knowledge of it with you or use your forces to scout it, nor can we join your war."

"My war?! Mine?" Revan's anger continued unabated. "You speak of this war as if I started it! It is not mine! It is the Mandalorians', they started it! I only defend the Republic, as I swore to. As we all swore to. You speak of risks and threats. I speak of lives. Your mystery threat has cost this galaxy tens of millions of lives already, and as you have made all too clear, you will let it cost millions more. Obviously this has been a waste of time, one which I will not repeat." Revan made a mock bow to the Council. "I leave you to your cowardice, Masters."

Revan stormed out of the Council Chamber, meaning to get off this world as soon as humanly possible, but immediately outside the Council Chamber he very nearly ran into Bastila.

'Wonderful, just what I need today. As if the Council wasn't enough, now I have her. And Force knows what I can say to her.'

"Revan." Bastila lamely greeted, looking up into his eyes, shocked at how different they looked. She had never seen such anger, such raw rage in them. Even more shocking was that below the anger, she saw fatigue. Like Revan was slowly being worn down to nothing. So different from the vibrant green she used to stare up into.

"Bastila. It's good to see you. I'm afraid I've no time to chat though. So, if you'll excuse me." Revan bowed to Bastila, a real bow unlike the one he'd just offered the Council and rushed off to his shuttle.

Bastila stared at Revan as he briskly walked off. She'd know Revan as a Jedi; she'd even loved him. Revan as a General, Bastila realized, was a complete stranger to her.

* * *

Despite Revan's concerns, the Republic did indeed win the war, thanks almost entirely to Revan and the Jedi that followed him. Soon the time for the renegade Jedi to return to the Enclave came. A single Jedi who lost her connection to the Force was the first. But instead of pity, compassion and aid to greet her, she found arrest, conviction and exile. After a greeting like that, it was no surprise at all that the rest of the renegade Jedi did not return.

Bastila knew the renegade Jedi would again set foot in the Enclave. But that knowledge did not help her answer the question of where they may go and what they may do with their lives. There was no word from them anywhere, and no one seemed to know why. At first she thought it to be just unfinished business; wars aren't clean or neat, maybe after the end of the war some pockets of Mandalorians still fought and that was what was keeping the missing Jedi. Or perhaps knowing they would never be welcomed back in civilized space they had started a new life in the Outer Rim. But whatever the reasons, soon instead of Jedi returning from the Rim, something else entirely came upon the galaxy: The Sith.

The Sith brought war to a galaxy already fatigued from it, and they brought questions that seemed to have no answers. Where did these Sith come from? How did they amass such a huge fleet? Who led them? Why had they been undetected until now?

The Republic had no answer to the Sith threat; The Mandalorian Wars had already drained the resources of the Republic, and victory had only come because of a General who was now missing in action. And oddly, the Sith tactics seemed to defy all reason.

Whereas Mandalorians had craved battle and ravaged whole worlds in an attempt to anger and provoke a worthy opponent, the Sith seemed to have an odd discipline to their targets; infrastructure was left intact. While this may have been normal for wars, for a galaxy that had spent years watching indiscriminate Mandalorian massacres, the change was jarring and almost eerie, as if some terrible blade hung by a thread above all the galaxy's head, waiting to fall.

The Jedi had no choice but to lead the charge to war. Mandalorians were a terrible thing, but they were still just men; Sith were Force users. The Dark Side could only be met with the Light Side. But even the full force of the Jedi managed only to slow the enemy's advance, and all too soon Vandar pulled Bastila aside to tell her why.

The walked through the Enclave's gardens, Vandar in seemingly no hurry to tell Bastila a why he had called her aside. Finally, almost as if sensing Bastila was about to ask, he spoke. "We have identified the Sith lords leading the enemy. It explains their seemingly superior tactics at every turn."

"That is good news, Master." Bastila had more questions than ever. I am afraid I cannot understand why you would tell me in private, however."

"Because you know the enemy leaders quite well."

Bastila stopped walking and stared at the tiny Jedi Master. 'I know them? How is that possible? I've never met a Sith. I'm not sure I've even heard of one active in my lifetime.'

Unable to find answers of her own, Bastila asked. "I'm afraid I do no not understand, Master. Who are these Sith Lords that I should know?"

"There are two. The first is the apprentice, Darth Malak"

"Master? I am afraid I have never met anyone with that name." Bastila was reassured. Obviously this was a mistake.

"I am afraid you know him all too well, young Padawan. When you knew him he wore a different name: Alek Squinquargesimus"

Bastila felt as if she had been run through with her own light saber. 'Alek? Fallen? And not just fallen like any Jedi, he was second in command of the enemy. A Sith Lord. Only a heartbeat away from the Dark Lord Himself. That cannot be! Alek may have enjoyed fighting, but so did many Jedi! There simply was no way he could be evil. It simply was not possible. Alek was fun loving, a joker, a romancer, a friend to everyone he met. Revan would never have allowed it.' Bastila's heart nearly stopped as the next thought came to her. 'Wait, if Alek was the apprentice, then the master had to be…'

Bastila dreaded asking, but she had to know. "Master. If Alek is the apprentice, then who is his master?"

Vandar looked at her with eyes full of sadness and compassion. "Darth Revan has become the Dark Lord of the Sith."

Ever since Revan had left, Bastila's life had become remarkably gray. She took no particular pleasure in anything anymore, nor was there anything in particular she disliked. It was the perfect Jedi mindset. But Bastila, whose eyes had become as bleak as her life, hadn't known a moment of happiness in those years, and now she was sure she never would again.

"Master?... Revan and Alek? Sith? How?" Bastila wanted more than anything to be told this was some sort of joke. But in her heart she knew it was true. 'All those missing Jedi… They fell, every last one of them. With no home to return to they simply kept following Revan. They followed him right into the darkness.' Bastila was sure she would be sick to her stomach.

"We do not know. Knowing their identities has raised many new questions, and answered none. But you need to know who your enemy is, and be ready to face them."

Bastila took a breath. "I will be ready, Master. My previous attachments will not be relevant. There is no emotion, there is only the Force." Bastila saw Vander take her words at face value.

'I wonder when I learned to lie so well.'

* * *

The Sith war machine seemed unstoppable. Revan's tactical brilliance crushed Republic forces, depleted from extended conflict with the Mandalorians and war weary troops. Worse still for the Republic was that even in battles not commanded by Revan, Sith forces without fail had overwhelming numerical superiority. For every ship the Republic destroyed, in a matter of weeks two would take its place. The combination of seemingly endless resources and a near invincible legend commanding them led to whispers in the Republic Senate that defeat was inevitable.

But then, something changed. The Republic would call it a miracle; the Jedi called it Destiny; Bastila called it Battle Meditation. When she first achieved it and used it in battle, the Republic officers thought it was a gimmick, snickering about a child playing war, others rolled their eyes and muttered about what a pathetic sign of desperation this was. Such complaints were quickly silenced, and in a matter of minutes replaced with open awe. For the first time in the entire war, the Force was with the Republic.

Bastila began to win battle after battle with her skills, finally returning hope to many in the Republic. Time and again she would board a ship, be met with the same skepticism of her skills and her age, face impossible odds in battle, and usually superior commanders against her, and time and again none of that would matter. Yet impressive as Bastila's power was, it only opened a new chapter in the war. It did not end it.

The Sith advance slowed to a crawl in the face of Bastila's Battle Meditation, but Revan was not a man to fail to adapt to a new situation. Regardless of the power Bastila might wield, she could only do so on one battlefield at a time, whereas the Sith had numbers on their side. Revan redistributed his forces to fight across a huge number of areas, fighting several battles at once. He would only assemble large armadas for the most major of assaults. Whereas once Revan and Malak commanded the Sith fleet from a single shared ship as master and apprentice, now the two had completely separate fleets.

Bastila continued to win virtually every battle she took part in, but it quickly became apparent that it would not be enough. For every battle Bastila fought in and won, three others would be fought simultaneously, and the Republic rarely would win any of them. The Republic needed a new plan, and the Jedi supplied it.

* * *

Revan stood on the main bridge of his flagship, watching the battle before him unfold with something resembling boredom. He had combined his fleet with Malak's for a major operation; the Republic fleet attacking now had no chance. It wasn't even worth Revan's time to manage the fighting. Today, he left that task to his subordinates. An engagement of this magnitude could be handled easily enough without him.

Even Bastila's Battle Meditation, while it made for a more interesting battle, only delayed the inevitable. Revan's mind already was moving to what would come after the war. In his mind there was little of interest here, beyond a small bit of pride he felt for Bastila's accomplishment.

Revan noticed motion on the right flank of the fighting; a small ship approached his at high speed.

'Hmm, a Republic ship. Well this is new at least. Maybe it will make for something worth watching after all. What could they be doing I wonder. At that size ramming will accomplish nothing. What could it be then?'

A bridge officer provided the alarmed answer. "My Lord, a small Republic ship has landed in the main hangar bay. We've been boarded!"

This indeed captured Revan's attention. "Show me."

The main monitor switched from a view of the battle to a live feed from the main hangar bay. A team of Republic commandos accompanied a small group of Jedi, including Bastila Shan were fighting their way deeper into the Revan's ship.

"Freeze the image." Revan ordered and pointed at the still image of Bastila. "See to it she finds her way to my Admiral's Bridge unharmed. Terminate the rest." Revan didn't wait for his order to be acknowledged; there was no doubt it would be carried out. The Sith Lord walked purposefully to the Admiral's Bridge, finding it deserted as always. Today would be an intriguing day after all.

* * *

Bastila fought her way through the ship, cutting down another of the seemingly endless silver armored defenders that were taking their tool on her attack group. Between the Sith soldiers and the Dark Jedi they had encountered, the boarding party was rapidly shrinking.

'This is endless. We are being led around this ship like children. Every path we take ends in sealed blast doors, always only one way to go. And with these relentless attacks there is no opportunity to stop and look for another way.'

Bastila saw the last surviving Republic Commando fall, a gaping blaster wound in the center of his chest. Only Bastila and two Jedi remained now.

'Damn. At this rate we won't even see Revan.' The endless enemy attacks were beginning to take their toll on Bastila. 'Instead of a confrontation with him some nameless minion will kill us in this Force forsaken hallway!'

A door down the hallway opened, quickly resealing after four Dark Jedi emerged. Bastila readied herself for a fight, but oddly found no opponent to face. Instead the Dark Jedi paired up on each of Bastila's companions.

'What is this? Why don't they find me a worthy adversary?'

Bastila engaged one of the Dark Jedi, but to her surprise he fought more defensively than any Sith she'd ever encountered. He passed up obvious attack opportunities, seemingly content to only defend himself.

'Is this Sith brain damaged? Does he want to die for some reason?' Bastila had no idea that something far worse than death waited for the Dark Jedi if he were so careless as to defy the Dark Lord and injure Bastila.

Bastila managed to defeat her opponent soon enough, a rather easy feat against an enemy who refuses to win. The delay had been costly however, the Jedi who had been pitted against two Dark Jedi fell. Bastila's sole remaining companion now faced three adversaries.

Jedi Knight Kayra desperately tried to fight off three opponents. Her bright blue light saber needed to be nearly everywhere at once, the glow it cast matching the shade of its owners eyes. But as skillfully as the Jedi fought, it was a losing battle "Bastila, go! They don't seem to want to fight you, take advantage!"

"I won't abandon you!"

"I am the ranking Jedi here and you will follow my orders! If they want to let you wander the ship, then do it! Revan is more important than me, find him!"

Bastila nodded to her companion and quickly left in search of Revan, not taking the time to look back. Bastila found no more opponents. Everything about the situation screamed out that it was a trap, but Bastila had no choice. So she walked alone into it.

* * *

Bastila passed through a final set of blast doors, which sealed behind her. She found herself in a room the door had claimed was the Admiral's Bridge. Built as a command center on flag ships, it allowed a flag officer to observe a fleet without being a part of the ship's normal operations on the Main Bridge. But this room contained no crew, no admiral. In fact only a single figure stood gazing out a window, apparently unconcerned with the Jedi who had just entered and been locked inside the room with him.

Slowly, almost casually Revan turned around and faced Bastila. He wore long black Sith robes and the grotesque mask he had become famous for wearing, but his voice was as clear and familiar as ever. "Miss Shan, welcome. I'm honored to receive a Jedi Master such as you on my humble ship. Would you care for some refreshment? I fear your trip here must have been trying indeed."

Bastila looked at Revan oddly. In all the times Bastila had imagined this meeting, never once had she expected Revan to offer her a drink. 'He offered me a drink? And he sounded serious while doing it? And did he just assume I was a Master? What is going on here?

"Revan. I'm afraid you are mistaken, I am not a Master." Bastila kept her voice calm and controlled, trying to sound like she was on equal footing with Revan.

"Ah, my apologies Knight Shan." Bastila could almost hear the grin Revan must have been wearing under his mask.

"You know I am a Padawan." Bastila let some annoyance creep into her voice, despite herself.

"A Padawan? How curious."

Bastila sighed. "Fine, I will take the bait. Why is it curious?"

"It is curious that you would hold such a lowly rank because it is so illogical. You are no simple Jedi. You are the Republic's war effort, their entire war effort in fact. At least the only part worth mentioning." Revan sound like a man patiently teaching a student, not someone speaking to his enemy.

"Your point?" Bastila no longer bothered to hide her annoyance.

"How can it be that the most important woman in the galaxy should be passed over for promotion? How many battles must a Jedi win to be granted Knighthood? How many lives must be saved, or Sith felled to be considered for Masterhood?"

"Playing to my vanity, Revan? Is that your best effort?"

"My dear Bastila, I'm merely asking a question, one I feel is legitimate. One I think you yourself have asked in your mind again and again. I wonder, what answer did you come up with?"

"Jedi do not care about rank, Revan. You should know that." Bastila's answer was fast and obviously from rote, not thought.

"And yet you do. I wonder what that could mean? I would have thought achieving Battle Meditation alone would have earned you Knighthood. Amazing gift. Control over an entire battle, reinforcing the minds of a side as you see fit, instilling discipline, unity, unit cohesion, and singular tactics. The entire Force swirls in response to your will. The mere normal soldiers may simply see it as amazing luck - making every shot, dodging every bullet, making every lucky move they ever dreamed of - but we know it to be much more. We know there is no luck, there is only the Force. And that is exactly what you can do. You can choose who the Force is with. Even the Dark Lord of the Sith is in awe of your gift."

Revan bowed to Bastila, who much to her surprise found no mocking in the gesture, only sincerity.

"So Revan, you think I will fall, resenting the Jedi for not appreciating me? I expected better planning from you."

"My dear Bastila, you should know better than that. Such simplistic, linear thinking. We have danced you and I, across the galaxy, from battlefield to battlefield for some time now. Have you never wondered why we never met? Why the ships you were on were never targeted by every battleship on the filed at once? Perhaps the lack of assassins caught your attention? I can assure you, it was no accident, nor was it an oversight. Many among the Sith did not care for my policy in this matter. I am ever so disappointed you did not notice. I did not expect thanks, but at least recognition of my efforts I think would have been more than fair. How sad." Revan's voice had strayed far into cynical territory by the end.

"Clearly you were saving me for this moment, to turn me." Bastila's answer was cool and detached.

"Ah, quite the contrary, I had not anticipated this meeting. I do find it amusing how desperate the Jedi are, however. You are their only effective means of slowing my advance, yet here you are on a suicide mission. Obviously the Jedi do not see your value. But no, I do not wish to turn you. No more than I wished you to join the Mandalorian War." Revan's hand still hadn't strayed anywhere near the light saber on his belt.

'This is maddening! It seems he has long, developed thoughts on everything, and I find myself resorting to automated Jedi responses. How can I always be so far behind in conversation? Has he so totally masterminded the fate of the galaxy?' Rather than waste more time thinking Bastila simply asked for answers. "Then what do you want, Revan?"

"Have you ever asked yourself why Bastila? Why I attack as I do, leaving so much untouched? It would be much more effective to fight a more total war. Yet I do not. Why?"

"Clearly you want followers to worship your name after you win." Bastila mentally kicked herself; another automated Jedi response.

Revan chuckled. "Amusing. You think me so narcissistic? Malak was always much more the narcissist than I. Not so much anymore, however. Not after his… accident."

"Accident?" Master Vandar had not said anything to Bastila about an accident having befallen Malak.

"Ah, your Jedi Masters never showed you a current picture of Malak? They really did put in a weak showing. How pathetic. But no matter. Malak has required some…. Reconstructive dental surgery let us say. As to your earlier point, ironically your earlier insult was close to the mark. Yes, I do require an intact galaxy after my win. But not for the reason you assumed."

"By all means, do tell me. I am absolutely dying of suspense." Bastila might not be leading the conversation, but her voice could still match Revan in arrogance.

Revan shook his head. "Cynicism does not become you, Bastila. And I will not give out free information for the Jedi Council to play with. If they had cared what I knew, they should have asked when they had the chance. Now they will be cast out of this galaxy, known only in history."

Bastila took up a combat stance, weapon in hand. "Then it would seem the fight is all we have left now, Revan."

"Bastila, please. You can't win this. Leave now. I don't want to destroy you. Please… just go." Revan was almost pleading now, arrogance completely forgotten.

Bastila activated the twin blades of her weapon.

Revan sighed deeply, shaking his head. "I see. So be it then."

Revan drew his light saber and took up his stance; almost casually he activated his light saber, the weapon now possessing a crimson blade. He waited for Bastila to strike when he felt a profound disturbance in the Force; a threat external to this room, and immediate. He cursed under his breath and acted on instinct.

With Force accelerated movements Revan dove forward, throwing himself at Bastila, who had no time to react. Their momentum sent both flying away from the widows. Revan's speed was incredible, but even with the Force he failed to outrun the blast.

Malak's ship fired on Revan's. Only Malak's assumption that his master would be on the Main Bridge spared Revan a direct him from the batteries of his apprentice's ship. But even managing to not take a direct hit, the Admiral's Bridge was close enough to the main to take severe damage. The windows shattered, shards of the thick glass flying inward, propelled by a concussive wave generated by the explosions destroying the Main Bridge. Instantly emergency decompression shutters closed, stopping any loss of air in the room.

Bastila landed heavily on her back, with Revan lying directly on top of her. "Get off me!" Bastila received no response. "Get off now you blasted Sith Lord." Bastila didn't wait for a response; she pushed Revan off of herself, looking at why Revan didn't move himself.

Revan was unconscious, his back was a bloody mess, glass and steel had shredded the flesh. Bastila gasped, looking to find what had knocked Revan out she found blood seeping through the back of the hood he wore, clearly from a major head wound.

'Oh Force, he's dying!' Bastila had training in first aid, as all Jedi did, as well as knowledge of Force healing techniques, but they had limits; Revan was losing blood at a rate that left him with only minutes to live.

Bastila hesitated, not sure what to do. For the first time since Revan had left the Enclave years ago, she found herself at war with her emotions; time had not weakened them at all.

'The orders were to capture if possible, but I cannot imagine how to heal this. No Jedi training covered blood loss and injuries like this. And they said if it wasn't possible to capture, killing was acceptable. But I will not just let him die! This is Revan!'

There was no doubt it was better for the galaxy if Revan were to die. He had a command of war that had all but delivered the galaxy into Sith hands and his own were stained with the blood of virtually every major power in known space. He had committed crimes that any government in existence would find death a justifiable punishment for. But right now, none of that mattered to Bastila. As had seemingly always been the case with matters concerning Revan, Bastila's heart won out over logic.

'No! I will not allow this! I refuse to let you die! It does not matter what kind of monster you might have become; you will not die because of me.' Bastila reached out with the Force and did something the Jedi Council would have called shockingly irresponsible if they had been there to consult.

Revan's injuries were too severe to heal with normal means, so Bastila did the first thing she could think of: she tried tying her own life force to Revan's. If he was going to drift off to be one with the Force he'd have to drag her with him. Or, preferably for Bastila, her own life force would anchor Revan's. Bastila had no idea how to do this, or of the implications of her actions, but whether through dumb luck or the will of the Force, she somehow succeeded. Bastila and Revan had become connected; the would feel each other's pain, strong emotions, eventually even thoughts. Bastila's strength flowed into Revan and his bleeding slowed and his wounds began to heal, but in return intense pain flared across the bond, shocking Bastila with its magnitude.

Bastila dared not lower the intensity of the bond, for fear of losing Revan, so simply bore the pain as best she could. With Revan out of immediate danger she looked around the room as more explosions rocked the ship.

'This ship is doomed; we have to get out of here somehow, and with this pain and the exertion of creating that bond I doubt I can focus enough Force energy to move Revan. I shall have to drag him.' Bastila looked at Revan, frowning. He was a good sized man and she was a small girl. The weight difference was not to Bastila's liking at all.

The ship rocked again, this time seemingly from inside. 'Secondary explosions; we have to move quickly.' Bastila frantically looked around, finding of all things a single escape pod hatch, only a dozen or so yards from Revan. 'A personal escape pad for the ship's admiral. How like the Sith, always have a way out. I suppose I should not complain; it will save our lives.'

Bastila returned to Revan, not sure how best to go about this so simply grabbed the nearest appendage, his left arm and began dragging him across the floor. 'Why is he so blasted heavy? Next time I capture a Sith Lord it bloody well had better be one closer to my own size!'

Increasingly frequent explosions caused Bastila to stumble several times, but through sheer force of will she managed to drag Revan to the escape pod and heaved him inside. Pain flared through the bond as Revan landed inside. The trip to the pod had obviously not been good for his injuries.

'This thing should have a few med packs inside if it is at all sanely designed. Once we launch I can treat him.'

Bastila got in the pod and activated it. The pod rocked as it was violently ejected from the ship, hurtling into space, already transmitting an emergency beacon. Out the rear window Bastila saw Revan's flagship being pounded by the traitorous Sith fleet. The ship was damaged more by internal explosions now than external fire, already nearly split in half. In a matter of seconds the damage finally overwhelmed the hull as the ship exploded in a spectacular explosion, two burning halves hurtling through space, leaving a trail of fire.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

That does it for chapter II. Once again, I'd like to thank my beta readers, Rev'ika, and WingedGirl4Life. I hope everyone's enjoyed the story so far. I am sorry for the long delay in this chapter. It seemed like everything conspired to slow it down, real life left my beta readers with very little free time, technical issues on that end and then health issues in my immediate family. Hopefully things will calm down and future chapters can be a bit faster in coming.


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